MY BLOODY VALENTINE [2009] (REVIEW)

Dir. Patrick Lussier

Reviewer. Dan Cook

For nearly a decade now, I have made it something of a tradition every February 14th to watch George Mihalka’s surprisingly mean-spirited but nonetheless entertaining 1981 slasher MY BLOODY VALENTINE, the story of a crazed miner pick-axing the residents of a small Canadian mining town. However, having recently acquired Patrick Lussier’s 2009 remake, I decided to forego tradition and plump for that instead tonight. Now having watched it, all I can say is that next year, I’ll definitely be sticking to the original.

Despite a number of enjoyably gory murder scenes and the welcome, albeit brief, presence of horror legend and master of the moustache Tom Atkins, this is a pretty dreadful and oddly televisual affair that does very little to build upon the notorious legacy of the far superior 1981 film or to the slasher movie as a whole. The now-dated 3D gimmick doesn’t add much either, with many of the admittedly ferocious killings looking more like video game deaths than those expected from a $14m horror production. My advice to you this Valentine’s Day, skip this boring mess and track down the fully uncut version of the underrated original.