THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3 (REVIEW)
Dir. Tom Six
Reviewer. Martyn Wakefield
If you haven’t heard of THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE then how are you even reading this? You do have the internet don’t you?
This here is the third and final sequence in the trilogy from cult director Tom Six. For those not in the know, THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE follows a mad doctor (Dieter Laser) as he experiments on three victims to attach mouth to anus in a weird Frankenstein’s monster late night classic. This was followed up by an even more grotesque creature that was the FULL SEQUENCE following a deluded car park attendant (Laurence Harvey) who was a fan of the first “film”. His escapades saw him kidnap a number of strangers and perform the surgery to violent and disturbing effects. Both of which were fine examples of how a horror film should be made. Terrifying, brutal and with buckets of blood.
Chapter 3 sees an INCEPTION of sorts as it brings back Laser and Harvey as US prison guards who set to introduce the definitive prison sentence after witnessing the first two films in Tom Six’s trilogy. Rest assured, they set about building a bigger centipede but bigger is not always better.
Gone is the suspense and thrills of a horror film and in its place stands a film that just about offends everyone. Not content with delivering not one but two cult films, a rarity to see since the 80’s, Six tries to smother the audience in a bucket of his own self gratitude by playing himself in a central role. Six even takes the opportunity to discuss the origins of the human centipede films and morphs fiction with reality by bragging that he has “witnessed all the fake latex stuff on (his) movie sets” and now it’s time to see the real thing.
As Harvey and Laser congratulate Six on his cult status with south park episodes and porn parodies, it’s a shame that the films that have given two stars and a director such prowess are now in an instalment which merely mocks their rise to popularity.
A shame then that everything in between the development of the centipede is, to put it plainly, indigestible shit. Dieter deserves an award for putting up with and delivering on the script because it’s one that most people would, quite rightly, turn down. What is worrying is that Dieter returned to the franchise for this. Dreaming of raping dying bodies, tearing off testicles, racist to every man on earth and raping the comatosed body of his secretary are all in a days work for the Boss, and yet he never brings any real fear to the screen.
Harvey’s Texan accent is laughable but amidst Dieters ferocious prison guard and Six’s own arrogance plays only a small irritant in the films 102 minute running time. The thought of turning the franchise into a parody of itself is a worthwhile investment but just simply does not work. This third instalment is neither funny nor shockingly original and it’s difficult to recommend this to anyone let alone a late night night suggestion.
Where THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3 delivered on its predecessor's flaws, FINAL SEQUENCE only goes to diminish a legacy that was built on a good idea and perfected in a gruesome sequel. Instead of delivering a follow-up, Six insists on reusing the same idea and implementing it somewhere new. This time trying to make something more of a monster than the leads themselves. As dieter shoots a remnant prisoner he screams “I don’t want anyone liking this!” Something I think Tom Six ad-libbed when writing the script.